STEP OUT OF IT!

My last post was about what we say to ourselves. And this is a continuation of that.

Stuck in what is
Sometimes I get caught up in what is. I get sad, or angry, or frustrated, because I am expecting things to be different than what they are.
What I’ve learned, over and over again is that I hold myself in that misery by witching (with a B), moaning, and whining about what is and how I wish it were different. The more I witch, moan, and whine, the sadder, madder, or more frustrated I become.

Three steps to getting unstuck
Lately, I’ve been reading posts from a fellow coach, Darlene Curlee, and I’ve learned 3 steps that can help me out of that misery.
Step One: I learned, or re-learned to notice how I am feeling. This way I can notice where my focus is. If I don’t like how I feel, I choose to step into better feelings.

Step Two: Pay attention to what I am saying to myself. Is what I am saying causing me to feel good, or to feel sad, angry and frustrated? I can then ask myself, what thoughts will make me feel a little bit better. I can focus on the love I have for my children. That feels better. I can be grateful for something – my job, the summer sunshine, my hot cup of coffee. Gratitude always feels better.

Step Three: I learned to give myself permission to look for something to be happy about. Sometimes I discover that all that witching, whining and moaning has become a habit that is actually creating more and more misery.
I can choose to find a spark of happiness that with time and practice I can fan into a flame that will have me feeling better about myself, about life, and about my tomorrows. That way I can find solutions to what’s bothering me and I can help myself begin to feel better.

Conclusion
One of the things I learned a long time ago – from my grandchildren – is to look for, and share good things. It feels better. And when I feel better I see a brighter future. That allows me to take my next step into making a better life for myself and those around me.